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By Jess 20th January 2026 in Child Arrangements

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Updated 20th January 2026 | Fact Checked By Jess Knauf, Co-Founder, Family Law Service

Quick Summary: Child Arrangements During Holidays

• Child arrangements during holidays refer to formal or informal agreements about where children spend school breaks, Christmas, and summer holidays after separation
• Common issues include last-minute disagreements, different household rules, and coordinating with extended family
• Most parents manage holiday arrangements through a parenting plan or Child Arrangements Order
• Mediation can help resolve disputes without going to court, saving time and money
• Family Law Service offers court form completion, CAFCASS prep meetings, and case reviews to support your specific situation
• FAQs cover how to handle overseas travel, splitting Christmas, and what happens if the other parent won’t cooperate

Child Arrangements During Holidays

Child arrangements during holidays can feel like one of the trickiest parts of co-parenting after separation.

Whether it’s figuring out who has the children for Christmas morning, planning a summer holiday abroad, or just getting through half-term without stress, the festive season and school breaks often bring disagreements to the surface.

You’re not alone if you’re worried about how to make it work. Many separated parents find that holiday child arrangements require more planning, flexibility, and sometimes formal legal support than week-to-week routines.

The good news? With the right approach, clear communication, and a solid plan in place, you can create child arrangements during holidays that work for everyone, especially your children.

What Are Child Arrangements During Holidays?

Child arrangements during holidays are the specific plans that determine where your children spend their time during school breaks, public holidays, and special occasions like Christmas, Easter, birthdays, and summer holidays.

These arrangements can be:

• Informal agreements between parents who communicate well
• Written parenting plans that set out expectations clearly
• Child Arrangements Orders issued by the court, which legally define where children live and spend time

Unlike regular weekly routines, holiday arrangements often involve longer periods of time, travel, extended family, and emotionally charged dates like Christmas Day or birthdays.

That’s why they need extra thought.

“From experience, we have often seen clients who manage day-to-day co-parenting really well, but holidays become a flashpoint,” says Jess Knauf, Co-Founder of Family Law Service. “It’s usually because expectations haven’t been discussed in advance, or because one parent feels left out of important moments.”

Why Holidays Cause Conflict

Child arrangements during holidays are more likely to cause disagreements than regular contact because:

• Higher emotional stakes: Christmas, birthdays, and family events carry more meaning
• Travel plans: One parent may want to take the children abroad, which requires consent
• Extended family expectations: Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and new partners all want time with the children
• Different traditions: If parents come from different cultural or religious backgrounds, holidays may hold different significance
• Last-minute changes: School holidays don’t always fall on the same dates each year, making planning harder

One father we worked with at Family Law Service had arranged to have his children for New Year’s Eve, but his ex-partner booked a trip abroad without telling him. By the time he found out, she’d already told the children they were going.

It caused a huge amount of upset, and could have been avoided with better communication and a clear written plan.

How to Make Holiday Child Arrangements Work

1. Start Planning Early

Don’t wait until a week before Christmas to discuss who’s having the children.

Ideally, you and the other parent should sit down at the start of the year and map out:

• School holidays
• Christmas and New Year
• Easter
• Half-term breaks
• Birthdays and special occasions
• Summer holidays

If you already have a Child Arrangements Order in place, check what it says about holidays. Some orders specify exactly how time is divided, while others leave it flexible.

2. Be Specific (But Flexible)

Vague agreements like “we’ll split Christmas” or “you can have them for part of the summer” often lead to arguments.

Instead, agree on:

• Exact dates and times: E.g. “Christmas Eve 5pm to Boxing Day 10am”
• Handover locations: Where will the children be collected and dropped off?
• Travel plans: If one parent is going away, where and for how long?
• Communication during holidays: Will the children call or video chat with the other parent?

That said, life happens. Be willing to swap or adjust if something genuinely important comes up.

3. Alternate Years

One of the most common approaches to child arrangements during holidays is alternating.

For example:

• Christmas: Mum has the children on even years, Dad on odd years
• Easter: Dad has them on even years, Mum on odd years
• Summer holidays: Split into two or three blocks, with each parent taking different weeks

This way, both parents get quality time, and children don’t feel like they’re missing out on traditions with either side of the family.

4. Split the Day (If You Live Close By)

If you live near each other and can cooperate well, you might split Christmas Day itself.

For example:

• Children wake up and open presents with Mum, then spend the afternoon and evening with Dad
• One parent has Christmas Eve, the other has Christmas Day

This works best when both parents prioritise the children’s experience over their own preferences.

What About Overseas Travel?

If you want to take your children abroad during the holidays, you need to check a few things first.

Do You Need the Other Parent’s Consent?

If you both have parental responsibility, you technically need the other parent’s consent to take the children out of the UK, even for a holiday.

In practice, many separated parents agree to this informally. But if your relationship is strained, it’s worth getting written consent to avoid problems at the airport.

What If They Say No?

If the other parent refuses to give consent and you believe the trip is in the children’s best interests, you can apply to the court for a Specific Issue Order.

The court will consider:

• Why you want to take the children abroad
• The other parent’s reasons for refusing
• The children’s relationship with both parents
• Whether the trip poses any risk

At Family Law Service, we’ve helped parents prepare applications for overseas holidays, including drafting supporting documents and attending court prep meetings.

When Mediation Can Help

If you and the other parent can’t agree on child arrangements during holidays, mediation is often the quickest and least stressful way forward.

I remember a client we had at Mediate UK who was stuck in a cycle of arguing about every school break. She wanted to take the children to visit her family in Scotland for a week each summer, but her ex insisted on having them for the entire six-week break. – Recalls Jess Knauf, Co-Founder of FLS. In mediation, they worked out a compromise: she’d have the children for two weeks, including a trip to Scotland, and he’d have them for three weeks, with one week alternating each year.

It wasn’t perfect for either of them, but it was fair, and most importantly, it gave the children stability.

Mediation is particularly helpful because:

• It’s voluntary, so both parents have a say
• It’s faster and cheaper than court
• You can discuss emotional and practical issues, not just legal ones
• Mediators are trained to keep conversations focused and productive

If mediation doesn’t work, you can apply to court for a Child Arrangements Order.

What Happens If the Other Parent Won’t Stick to the Plan?

Even with the best intentions, some parents don’t follow agreed child arrangements during holidays.

They might:

• Cancel at the last minute
• Refuse to return the children on time
• Book holidays without consulting you
• Exclude you from important moments like birthdays

If this happens, your options include:

1. Try Mediation First

Even if you’ve already tried mediation, going back can sometimes help if circumstances have changed.

2. Apply for a Child Arrangements Order

If there’s no formal order in place, you can apply to court. The order will set out exactly when the children spend time with each parent, including during holidays.

3. Enforce an Existing Order

If you already have a Child Arrangements Order and the other parent is breaching it, you can apply for enforcement.

The court can:

• Issue a warning
• Order unpaid work
• Fine the parent
• In extreme cases, change the living arrangements

At Family Law Service, we help parents with court form completion, case reviews, and CAFCASS prep meetings to make sure their applications are as strong as possible.

Tips for Making Holiday Arrangements Easier

• Put it in writing: Even if you trust the other parent, written plans prevent misunderstandings
• Use a shared calendar: Apps like Google Calendar or co-parenting apps can help you both stay organised
• Communicate directly: Avoid using the children as messengers
• Be consistent: Try to stick to the same pattern each year so children know what to expect
• Think about the children’s perspective: What matters most to them? Being with both parents? Seeing extended family? Having a break from routine?

FAQs About Child Arrangements During Holidays

Can I take my children abroad for a holiday without the other parent’s permission?

Technically, no. If both parents have parental responsibility, you need consent to take the children out of the UK. If the other parent refuses, you can apply to court for permission.

What if we can’t agree who has the children for Christmas?

If you can’t agree, mediation is usually the first step. If that doesn’t work, you can apply for a Child Arrangements Order, and the court will decide.

How do you split Christmas Day?

Some parents alternate years, some split the day itself, and others agree that one parent has Christmas Day and the other has New Year. It depends on what works for your family.

What if the other parent cancels holiday plans at the last minute?

If it’s a one-off, try to rearrange. If it’s a pattern, keep records and consider applying for a Child Arrangements Order so there are clear consequences for breaches.

Can I change the holiday arrangements if my circumstances change?

Yes. If you have an informal agreement, you can renegotiate. If you have a court order, you can apply to vary it if there’s been a significant change in circumstances.

Do I have to tell the other parent where I’m going on holiday?

It’s good practice to share basic information, like where you’ll be staying and how to contact you in an emergency. If there’s a Child Arrangements Order, it may require this.